'Jesus comes to us in skin. He looks like your neighbor.'
-Dr. David Allen
Taylor University chapel speaker

Lent

For the first time in my life I’ve observed the Lent season. Neither my family nor my home church, while I was growing up, has ever observed the Church calendar aside from Christmas Eve/Day and Easter Sunday. I don’t fault them for not exposing me to this, though I think the evangelical church could stand to incorporate more liturgy into its faith practice. Lent is a season of 40 days preceding Easter Sunday which focus on fasting and penance, usually in three areas: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Today, a common approach is to give up a vice, add something that will draw one closer to God, and to give charitably.

Six weeks ago, the Sunday before Ash Wednesday, Ben, Caleb and I were studying together when conversation began about Lent. We all shared that we had minimal knowledge of it and had never observed it. So, after a little research, we decided, at approximately 11:50pm Tuesday night that together we would do it. We’ve abstained from caffeinated beverages and we’ve committed to reading through the four gospels during Lent.

No Coffee for YOU! ‘If it doesn’t cost you anything in the beginning, what’s it going to be worth to you in the end?’ Many students have heard me challenge them with this mantra, usually when they’re thinking of chickening out of asking a girl or boy to go on a date with them or something of that nature. However, as we were thinking about what to give up, this mantra came to mind. I am not addicted to coffee. Let’s just say there’s nothing on the menu that will satisfy me quite like a cup of black coffee. I have worked at a coffee shop for the better part of 9 years. So, it’s a highly integrated part of my life. Call that what you want.
Giving it up has been very challenging. One of the most challenging has been all of the comments and strange looks I’ve gotten from people when I either don’t order a coffee, or turn one down when it’s offered to me. People have come to expect certain patterns in my behavior. Certainly this is not bad, but I think I’ve realized just what a creature of habit I am. Another obvious challenge has been the cravings, though not in the form of headaches or the shakes that come from caffeine withdrawal. Rather, there are two circumstances which I’ve craved coffee the most.
First, has been when I’ve not gotten much sleep and I think I need help to stay alert. Just writing that makes me cringe at the unhealthiness of such a thing. I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a cup in the morning or late at night to help you that way, but when it becomes the primary vehicle for such things, then I don’t think you’re treating your body as a temple… at least, I don’t think I am.
Second, has been when I’m sitting down to talk with someone personally. A social lubricant, it is not. However, I have been surprised at how uncomfortable I’ve been sitting down with students or friends without a cup of coffee. Maybe it’s an environmental thing. Maybe it’s a security blanket. Maybe it’s something else. I don’t know. It concerns me that there are things I feel I ‘need’ to have in order to comfortably talk with others. So many of those conversations with others are framed in the context of openly and honestly sharing my life with them. Though having a cup of coffee during that process is not impeding my ability to be authentic with others, I wince at the idea that in some small way I may need to have my ‘armor’ with me.

The Gospel: ‘Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”’ – Matthew 14:29-31
In reading the Gospels again, I’ve felt I’ve looked upon Jesus’ parables, especially, with fresh eyes. Parables can stand alone and are good for teaching. Reading through them all in such proximity, for me, has been an opportunity to consider that the message in each fit together so succinctly. It has also been especially challenging to consider each of these without Bible study notes, or specific points to grab out of the passages. Reading through the Gospels in a sermon or a Sunday school class can be a dangerous thing for me, as I’ve read through them many times and have herd many speakers pull specific points out of parables. It’s very easy for me to come across something like the passage about the wise and foolish builders and think: Wise guy believes in God = sturdy house, Fool doesn’t believe in God = flimsy house. I.e.: Let’s be sure we believe in God. But in that process, I’m not reading critically enough to catch that this is not at all about belief. It’s about an appropriate response to belief; application and actions. I pray that this experience will only reinforce my desire for contextual reading from the Bible.

Resurrection Sundays: The Sundays during Lent do not count as part of the 40 days, because they are observed as ‘mini’ Easter celebrations. During these Sundays, we broke our fast and had coffee. I think one of the most significant experiences during Lent has been living in anticipation. Anticipating coffee, yes, but understanding that the coffee hasn’t been the focal point. Breaking my fast in order to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection and victory over sin and death has made this a season of observation; not just a day. In this sense, I’ve focused more on Jesus death and resurrection more personally than ever before. Though it may seem coincidental, this last 40 days have been marked with a somber melancholy for me. There have been many long days and difficult conversations along with challenging mental and emotional processing that I’ve experienced due to various happenings in my recently. In a way, I don’t think that there could have been a more appropriate time to experience some of these things, because it has not been difficult to look past them at that which should really take precedent over all the circumstances of my life: that God loves me enough, even in my absolute depravity, to become a man and be put to death by His own creation as a sacrificial act in order to justify and then sanctify me so that I may be able to be reconciled to Him forever. In comparison to the constant reminder of such perfect love, I’ve been able to traverse the last 40 days of my life with significantly less despair, as the hope and celebration of Jesus’ resurrection loom just ahead. He is risen! He is risen indeed!

The Stations of the Cross: Yesterday I participated in the Stations of the Cross. This is a liturgical practice that involves prayer and meditation on a sort of ‘pilgrimage’ to 14 locations from Jesus being sentenced to death to being laid in the tomb. Each station is supplemented by scripture reading, prayer, and meditation. This was a very good experience. I think that I left with a very real sense that this Lent season experientially brought everything together. I want to live reverently in response to Jesus sacrifice. I want to be a disciplined person. I want to live expectantly.
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” –Matthew 16:24-25
Jesus death is a very personal gift for me. It is the only perfect love that I will experience in this life and without it I am simply skin and bones taking up space for a few fleeting days in this existentially pointless world. In light of this, I was all the more compelled to recite at each station, yesterday with the congregation, ‘We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.’

And so I’m anticipating Resurrection Sunday tomorrow. I look forward to celebration, once again, that which is the source of all hope and confidence in this life. This experience has been so beneficial. If I had to sum up what has been impressed on my heart the most during this time. It would be as follows:
He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed. –Matthew 21:44
Discipline, sacrifice, abstinence, fasting, sorrow, humility. These things are all worthy pursuits because of the opportunities that they lend to being ‘broken to pieces on the stone’ that is Jesus Christ and the Word of the Lord. I want these things to be a part of my life not because they make me strong or because they make me wise, or they make me pious. Rather, by continuing to do these things, I hope to be continually broken toward refinement, but not crushed under the weight of the Holiness of God.

Clara & Carter

Thesis defended successfully. BOOYEAH! Wow....

I just got back from babysitting Clara and Carter for an hour with Katie. I LOVE those kids! We spent most of the time walking back and forthbetween the bedroom and the living room cooking play dough pie. I couldn't begin to describe what is so beautiful about the Graham kids, but they are. Time interacting with them is almost immediately refreshing and renewing. Praise the Lord for children, but thank Him especially for Clara and Carter. One of the things on my frisbee list (things to do before I'm outta here...) is to spend an afternoon painting canvases with Clara. Certainly this will be a blast, but it's also secretly my major decorating idea for my apartment next year...

...how it was as close to art as art itself...

Nate, much more a lover of poetry than of baseball, though, a good friend, so he knows of my baseball obsession, sent me this poem that he taught his 5th grade class last week. I'm posting it here, especially for all of you scoffers and naysayers who attempt to rebuff my love for baseball. Maybe this will encourage you to come around and see the beauty you're missing. (Thanks Nate)

Tagging the Stealer
to David Cavanagh

So much of it I hadn't a bull's notion of
and like the usual ignoramus who casts his eyes
at, say, a Jackson Pollock or ‘This Is Just to Say’,
I scoffed at it. I didn't twig how it was as close
to art as art itself with its pre-game ballyhoo,
antics, rhubarbs, scheming, luck; its look
as if little or nothing is going on.
How often have we waited for the magicin
the hands of some flipper throwing a slider,
sinker, jug-handle, submarine, knuckle or screwball?
If we're lucky, the slugger hits a daisy cutter
with a choke-up or connects with a Baltimore chop
and a ball hawk catches a can of corn
with a basket catch and the ball rounds the horn.
Oh, look, Davo, how I'm sent sailing
right out of the ball park just by its lingo.
But I swear the most memorable play I witnessed
was with you on our highstools in the Daily Planet
as we slugged our Saturday night elixirs.
The Yankees were playing your Toronto Blue Jays.
They were tied at the top of the 9th.
I can't now for the life of me remember
who won, nor the name of the catcher, except
he was an unknown, yet no rookie.
Suddenly behind the pinch hitter's back he signalled
the pitcher, though no one copped until seconds later
as the catcher fireballed the potato to the first baseman,
tagging the stealer. It doesn't sound like much,
but everyone stood up round the house Ruth built
like hairs on the back of the neck, because the magic
was scary too. Jesus, give each of us just once
a poem the equal of that unknown man's talking hand.
- Greg Delanty

101 and done

Tomorrow is opening day! Woohoo! Actually... it's opening night, as major league baseball has begun to impliment this crappy idea of having the first game of the season occur in the evening, so that ESPN can cover it without competition from local market broadcasts. Meanwhile, the real opening day is on Monday, when all the other teams begin their seasons. Though I'm not a fan of the night-before opening day game, it's much better than baseball's previous opening day strategy of having two teams play their opening series in Japan so that the game airs at 4am. So, Tomorrow night is the Phillies @ the Braves. More importantly, the Cubs open their season at 6:05pm at the Astros. 101 and done. I'm calling it here (Not that I haven' called for the same thing for the past 26 years, but whatever).

Last night a group of us were playing 'hot seat' on the drive back from Ft. Wayne. It consists of one person asking another person to choose quickly between two words without any explanation. Open interpretation. Today, when I was at the Box eating lunch he gave me another 'hot seat' question that I'm stumped on. Baseball or Music. WOW! I keep trying to figure out how to read into it so that I can pick one over the other, but it's just not happening. I mean music is this amazing art that has the capacity to enhance any situation or circumstance at anytime. Baseball is this pure, beautiful, nostalgic passion in my life. Music is good for anytime but is always changing. Baseball never changes but comes and goes with the seasons of the year. How can I choose? I will end with a short caveat for you(check the definition): Ben Taylor's questions are often nothing but a bunch of thological,philisophical, and metaphysical poppycock.