Czech & David Mauldin

I've been thinking about the Czech alot today. Good, but sullen. I think it's because I was listening to Coldplay and there are certain songs that make me think of those people. Somehow the two integrate well. Today Indy and Prague are experiencing about the same weather. cold. it's hovering around 30 and feels colder (i checked it on weather.com). Will I ever end up back there? I've gotten some correspondence from David Mauldin recently. He's in Taiwan & wrestling with God. Having a hard time with life. I wonder if I would experience the same sort of struggle if I'd ended up moving to Czech and working there as I'd planned to once upon a time. I think I most likely would have. It's so easy to feel alone. And the loneliness can be like quicksand at times. Try to alleviate it, but the attempts remind you all the more of your real loneliness, so you try harder and the feelings grow all the more intense... It would not be difficult to allow yourself to be swallowed up in it.

The Czech Republic is a wonderful place (as are all places on this earth in their own way, im sure) and it's people are particularly beautiful to me (and that's simply because it's about the only other culture that i've gotten to experience with any sort of reality other than my own). I love to think back on them and remember. Remembering invovles recalling their depression; personally, spiritually, and economically. The country is becoming westernized which is good for their economy, but politically and socially they are so stratified that the new economic rewards are really only rewarding a handful of people at the top with little trickle-down effect, especially outside of Prague... The people feel like they've been so whore'd by those in power across much of history... Catholicism tore them apart. Fascim oppressed them. Communism ruined them. Now Capitalism will attempt to strip them. It is no wonder that these people are not interested in anything anyone new says or brings their way. They've all claimed to have answers and solutions and avenues to better life. None of them have followed through on those claims. None of them were really coming from a perspective that had those people as their motivation. As a people they must identify strongly with Hosea in the Bible. Continually betrayed and lied to. And to take back his wife only to know full well that this time was no more real or sincere than any of the times previous.

That's why I would consider being there long term... because the only way I would dream of asking someone to listen to my account of faith and belief in God would be through time and friendship. No tracts. No alter calls. No television preachers. No standing on the street corner with a microphone and shouting that everyone was going to go to Hell. That's not how Czech people work, and for good reason. You think you, a little 17 year old kid over here for a week long ministry trip, have something to tell me in such a way that im' going to throw off 300 years of disappointment and let-downs and let you get me all emotional and grab onto another hope on a whim? Get over yourself. You couldn't even point me to a real church within 30 miles. There is part of me that hates the fact that Americans are so open to such retarded things. I think it points to how safe and sheltered we really are, and I'm not talking about only the upper-middle class afluenza.. I'm talking about most everyone in this country, rich or poor... we're all so easily deceived; so willing to jump over a cliff without thinking and not dealing with the consequences till much later. I think that's why American Christians, on the whole, are pretty ridiculous; we dont have a real faith. We've not made a real choice. We've simply incorporated certain daily and weekly practices and observances that make us feel better and a little validated. They're certainly not real choices or beliefs because our lives wouldn't even be a shadow of what they really are if that was the case. But we live in a culture that promotes that sort of half-hearted, not logical, don't worry about the implications, im not gonna hold you accountable, just say something that sounds nice, isn't it great that we all have 'hope' sort of living and decision making. This is a luxury that someone in Czech does not have. I would take the decision of one Czech person to hold water over 20 Americans on account of I KNOW that the Czech person has had to think it all through because noone's gonna understand what they're doing or thinking and it's certainly not going to make any friends and there's really not going to be any support for them. They've HAD to think it through before doing something that social stupid. The Americans on the other hand... well, I could choose to be a Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Atheist, Taoist, or Confucianist and I'm praised and respected for 'having conviction' and 'living with purpose'. It's not that hard for me to change my mind and change my mind to whatever direction the wind blows....

I've gotten on a bit of a soapbox and very unintentionally so. This was all supposed to be about Czech and how I thought about it today which was good, and also somewhat depressing. Somehow in my head i convince myself that allowing the experience of individuals over there to weigh heavy on my heart and mind makes it somewhat lighter for them to carry over there... ...even though I cant see them, or talk to them or cry with them anymore. Funny things my mind allows me to do.

Be changeable, Let go of resentment, Don't let your past define you

I'm home. The turkey's been eaten (well, at least the first of several times, no doubt). And I'm contemplating a good long nap on the couch. Thanksgiving's been good to me again. It's the first one without Tracy though, which is different. Not necessarily in a bad or good way, just that she's evidently not here. It's good to be with my parents though and I think we've got a good enjoyable weekend planned.

So, the second date. I know I've waited too long to sit down and write this all out. Cause, the more time passes, the more people ask me about it in person and the more often I tell the story, the more details I leave out I think. I'll try to be thorough though.

Saturday I picked her up at the dorm at around 1 and we headed down to Indy. Broadripple first, and The Monon Coffee Co. She let me suggest a new coffee drink for her and so I was very happy to get her a machiatto (as in a real one, not that starbucks crap). We sat and talked there for a while. It surprised me how comfortable she felt with me, and I'll comment on that at several points in the retelling here... After we were done we walked around a few of the little shops in the area. After we'd been there a couple hours we headed downtown to walk Circle Center Mall. We didn't talk a ton, but it was strangely comfortable to just walk around a crowded mall with her. As we began to get hungry I told her she had to pick where. It got narrowed down to PF Changs and Bucca de Beppos. When chang's had a line a mile long, Bucca's won by default. I think she liked the food. I forgot to say that about 10 minutes before the date began I was sitting in justin Thomas room and got so nervous about the date that I felt a little sick to my stomach. This persisted throughout the evening, not enough to ruin the moments, but enough to know that it was there. I interject this here because we were finished with dinner and the waiter asked if we wanted it boxed up and I said yes. She looked at me and asked if I was feeling ok. It caught me off guard and I said yes, why would you ask that. She pointed out that I'd barely eaten anything. I wasn't thinking about it at the time, but I really had just picked at it cause I don't think my stomach could have handled it. I probably should have just let her know that I was a little nervous and it was bothering my stomach, but I made up some lame excuse about being full or whatever. I think it was just mumbles. Anyway, we walked out of Bucca's and started walking and she wanted to know what was next so I told her that there were 3 options I'd thought of. 1: go to the chocolate cafe on the circle 2: go to the cool boarders store down the road 3: walk the canal. I said we could do as many or as few as she felt like considering it was into the evening now and it was a little chilly out. She decided on boarders and then wanted to go to the canal ( I felt pretty good about that last one cause that's really more of a 'date' thing to do, you know, walk the canal... So I figured she couldn't have been having too horrible of a time.) We went to the Boarders and walked around a bit. Earlier in the day she'd told me about a poetry class that she was in and so I found my favorite poetry book The Prophet by Khalil Gibhran. I read her a few poems that I liked and maybe that sounds like about the cheesiest thing you could do on a second date but I loved it. Who knows if she was thinking that or not, but every time I looked at her she smiled and seemed to be genuinely taking in the moment. Moment... yeah, when i was in it I recognized that it was definitely going to turn into one of those movie moments in my memory. When we were done with Boarders we headed to the canal. I'd never been there before but I was very pleasantly surpised at what a great spot it was. We started walking and started in on the most important dialogue of this whole little adventure of the past few months. Walked all the way to the end at 10th st. and turned back and walked to the beginning again. It was a long time, it was dark, it was cold, we were pretty much alone, and the conversation was stellar. By the time we got back to the beginning it was time to head back to the car and head home. When I dropped her off I asked her if she would mind if I called her. She responded pretty positively and that made me pretty excited. And that was date number 2. At least, the bare bones of it. So what was so great about it? Two things.

Like I said earlier, she seemed so comfortable and at ease with me. Not that that's a bad thing (in fact, a really good thing) but it's just not what I expected at all. I don't know when it'll stop suprising me, but for right now I am content to continually be surprised at who she really is. First impressions left me with the idea that she was this really quiet, very soft spoken, and generally agreeable person. None of those tend to hold true all the time and that's PERFECT. And not to mention, I put myself in her shoes and I don't know that I have the guts to let some college graduate pick me up, take me out on a date to the city, parts of which include long walks in dark canals. I respect it a ton and am very humbled by that.

Second thing, and the biggest part of the night... The dialogue. As we were walking the canal I asked her what was important. Left it vague and open like that because it's me and you know I'm good for those open ended questions that let me start to get and idea about who you really are by what you answer. She asked for a bit of help in direction and I said there was no direction, to take it wherever you want to go with it. Then I told her to tell me 3 important things. And then I told her she had to tell me 3 important things that didn't include the 3 things everyone would use to answer that (God, Family, Friends). And as she thought she came up with her 3 and some expanding thoughts with a few follow up questions I asked to make sure I understood what she meant by her answers....
1: Be open to change. God's made too many people with too many different experiences, perspectives, and understandings for me to get the idea that the way I do it, or the way I see it, or the way I think it is the 'best' or 'right' way. Life is one of those things that constantly requiring you to change and adapt, why would you fight so hard to stay the same when who you were then is not who you are now.
2: Let go of anger and resentment. (I thought this was a very curious choice from a girl who's struck me as so mild and timid, again a wonderful surprise to find out I am wrong) Though it's easy to talk about these two things in the form of interpersonal relationships, she's referring to circumstance in general. It's easy to become furious and exasperated by messed up things about our world and our life (IE: the education system and American Christianity, ironically 2 of my biggest soapboxes, which was about the biggest turn on a person like me can experience). Being so frustrated and annoyed at such things will only lead to ineffectiveness on my part. It's important to understand that if there's any chance at having an impact on such things, one needs to rid themselves of the extremes of such dislike, such as resentment and an overall chip on your shoulder.
3: You can't allow your background and life's experience to define who you are now and who you will be in the future. This is a crucial understanding if any of us is going to rise about all the crap in any of our lives, no matter what form that takes. If our past defines us then we will never allow ourselves to change (reference #1) and we will never grow.

Now, again, I know that I'm probably a peculiar person in this way, but ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!? There's absolutely no way that this girl answered that questions in those ways! Blown away. For all of you who know me, chances are you've heard me get on one of those soap boxes myself, or pushed you to your own personal understanding or healing via one of those routes. Even now as I recall that part of our conversation I am blown away that she really said all of those things. And to tell the truth I don't even know what to make of it all. I'll tell you what though, I'll bet you I'm about to make a big fool of myself or God's in the midst of all of this. Again, I sound cheesy saying that cause when people say things like that to me I roll my eyes and tell them to bring themselves down from the clouds and walk around in reality for a while. MAN! but those answers were so perfect. I don't know. She amazes me thus far.

So, I also forgot to say that date #3 got planned during the afternoon. She's coming down to the apartment next Saturday to help us decorate the apartment for Christmas. Phil's gonna bring someone down as well and we're gonna make a sweet day of it. We'll have hot chocolate and cider. There will be Christmas music and then we'll make dinner for them. The night will end with watching 'Love Actually', which Phil and I told ourselves we'd not watch again until Christmas time with a girl. In my wildest dreams I never thought that would come to fruition in any real sense.

So, what to make of this as a whole? To make some sort of sense of it quickly, this is what I've got. From May to before the 1st date when from nothing to intrigue. from before the date to after the flowers went from intrigue to infatuation. from the flowers to the end of date 2 moved from infatuation to 'holy crap, no more messing around. there's absolutely no reason you don't pursue a real relationship with this girl now'. So, that all leaves me with several big questions in my head that came up at the very beginning before I even asked her to go to the wedding with me, but they were questions I didn't need to work through because these were just dates and she was just a sweet girl and I didn't really expect for this to go so amazingly well, cause I mean, it's me, afterall. But now we've past a critical point where I need to work through these and come up with some answers for myself so I can attempt to move foreword with this. When I come to some resolution I may write them all down here. If you've got any wise words, then leave em on here, or maybe give me a call and talk some sense into me.

moms coming through in the clutch

So, today's the last day of work before a holiday. I'm all packed and ready to head home right after work, so it's obviously going to be an agonizingly long day because of what there is to look foreword to. Mom sends an email to me telling me that she's just got to be a mom and ask me if there's any way I can leave work early to head home cause it's begun to snow pretty hard in the north and half her office showed up late because of accidents on the roads. I'm obviously rolling my eyes because there's no way IM asking to leave early. However, I promise her I will at least ask. So, I walk into Marvin's office and chuckle a bit and ask him if there's any way I could leave right at 430 with the employees (I usually leave around 5) to make my mom happy because of this situation. Marvin decides he's gonna get paranoid about it too, so he's not gonna let me stay any later than 330 this afternoon so that I'm not in heavy traffic with the bad weather too. Wow, it's nice to know that everyone thinks i'm 16 years old again, but hey, im not complaining cause it's an hour and a half of work time that's not gonna be spent working and it's also saving me sitting in traffic for an hour or so more than I normally would. BONUS.

Things to post about that I know I am overdue on, but it will happen this weekend:
1: My 2nd Date
2: My upcoming 3rd Date.... (BOOYEAH!)

2nd date?!?

Phil and Noah got my hopes up for a phone call. I mean, I just sent the girl flowers out of the blue! They definitely had me ready and waiting for an exuberant phone call from her thanking me. Yeah, that didn'’t happen. Instead I got about a 5 line email. It was happy in it's tone, which was good, but I just let myself get too high of expectations. Later on I found out that she'’d had a sort of crappy day so the flowers actually where very good timing, and that made it all more worthwhile to me. I'’m glad I did it. However, I'’d already convinced myself that when she called all excited would also be a perfect time to ask her to go on another date with me. So, again, when she didn'’t call, that sort of took some wind out of my sails a bit. After thinking about it more though, I reminded myself just how much I really wanted to go on another date. So, Thursday on my all night road trip out to Shorb'’s, I got several pep-talks from several friends in order to gain the courage to actually give her a call and ask her out again. She said she'’d love to go out again and sounded pretty excited about it too, which kind of surprised me. Needless to say, the rest of the trip flew by cause I was on cloud nine. She wanted to come down to Indy this coming weekend. So, I'’m going to Taylor to pick her up and bring her down. Now all I have to do is figure out what to do. I'’ve been thinking about it pretty much since I got home Monday. I've got several ideas. In fact, I called her on Tuesday cause I kinda realized that I didn'’t even have a very solid idea about what exactly she enjoys doing, or what she would have fun doing with me in Indy. So, that was the goal. It was also a side goal to be on the phone with her for more than like 10 minutes (which would be about as long as it would take for her to answer my questions directly and hang up). In other words, I was really hoping to have a real phone conversation with her. I wasn't optimistic cause I didn'’t think she was that comfortable with me yet. So, when I called, she wasn'’t in the room, so I left a message. When she called back, to my surprise, we talked for over half an hour! Now, I could be totally wrong in this read of the situation, but it seemed to me that she was just as interested in having a real conversation with me as I was with her. I mean, she answered my questions, but we also talked about other stuff as well, and it wasn'’t like I was artificially asking questions to prolong the conversation past what it should have been. For about 35 minutes, the conversation flowed it'’s natural length and drew to a very natural close. Oh wow! It'’s a good feeling to have when you'’ve just talked on the phone with a girl for the first time in a causal sort of way. Maybe I'’m not making sense right now, but you know, It'’s just one of those things I guess. One of those things that does it for me. To talk on the phone just to talk and to hear her talk simply because you'’re so intrigued and infatuated by someone that you can'’t wait for the next meeting that you have to resort to the telephone!. I love it. I hope that it happens again soon and I hope it feels and normal and natural as this Tuesday night felt. So yeah, all that to say, we'’re gonna go walking downtown on Saturday. You know I will be a very unhappy camper if it rains, cause it'’s gonna be kinda chilly, so walking in the rain is out of the question, but walking in the cold is a definite possibility, and if we'’re walking in the cold, maybe she'’ll grab onto my arm again. And if it'’s cold, maybe she'’ll ask to wear my coat and if that happens you can be sure that you and I will never speak again cause I will promptly have heart failure and die, but it will be the most exquisite mental state one could be in, I'’m sure and if that's the way I die, I think I could be quite fine with that.

Rejoice

Thursday I left work at 4:30pm and by 2:30am I was at the home of Nate & Erica Shorb. I then proceeded to spend 4 days of absolute bliss with the two of them. The drive went very well (more on that in the next post). It was so good to get on the road. I'’m very satisfied with my decision to drive instead of fly. I needed that alone time for some reason. I mean, it'’s not like my days are inundated with people or anything like that. I think I just needed to get out and have a little adventure of my own. Granted, I'’m not a very adventurous guy, but there'’s not a whole lot more freeing than driving on the interstate at 1am.

Bethlehem Pennsylvania is about as quaint as a town can get I think. I forget how flat Indiana is sometimes and I think that if I would end up somewhere with hills and mountains, that would be fine by me. The trees were beautiful still, which was a bit of a surprise, but on this sunny weekend it made for quite a spectacle outside. My dear friend Nate and I have taken turns over the past 3 to 4 months calling each other about every 3 weeks and telling the other one how desperately we need to see the other because we are in jobs that we can'’t really stand and every day is like another day of life being sucked right out of us. This has made for some very depressing times and mental and emotional stress of unparalleled measure for the both of us. I'’ve been planning to come out since labor day weekend, actually, and for whatever reason it hasn't been able to happen until this last weekend. Well, I do believe that the reason for the delay was for timing's sake. I showed up at a time when, I think we both seriously needed a dear friend within physical proximity and both needed to identify with someone else going through about the same sorts of things. And with that said, the coffee runneth over. What did we do? Not a whole lot except for talk. We ran into Philly one night for Cheese steaks, but other than that it was company. We drank and talked and talked and listened and put on another pot of coffee to drink afterward, then talked some more. How do you put into words the experience of coming back together with a true, genuine friend after too much time and distance have separated them? I am lost to describe it, but I know that God filled my spirit back up through the presence of my friend. It did not matter that what we were sharing were hard things, troubling things. It was of no consequence that at this particular juncture we are not spending our lives in ways that we would have hoped we were. It mattered that we were together, talking again.

It was very appropriate that Sunday night, at the bible study we attended, the topic was Romans 5 and Paul talking about suffering.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

-Romans 5:3-5

We talked long and hard about the word '‘rejoice' in there. What'’s Paul talking about? So often we want to try and make what we would assume to be a literal interpretation in that we should rejoice, or be happy, or content, or optimistic, or any number of things that would allude to the idea that we should not be angry, frustrated, exasperated, pissed off, depressed, or hurting. This is not the truth, I don'’t think. Paul'’s a smart guy and Paul'’s also a guy who experienced his share of suffering. He knew what it was to get the crap beat out of him and run out of town. Do you think he was happy about the beating? Don'’t get me confused, he does talk about delighting in his suffering, but this is reference more toward the idea of it being a specific means to a particular end which he is very focused on (the spreading of the gospel to the Gentiles). I don't think Paul is stupid enough to think that we should all be so happy about getting the crap beat out of us either physically or mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. So, what is he saying and why does he throw that word '‘rejoice' in there then? Again, remember that Paul was a phenomenally smart guy. He was the equivalent of a lawyer in his days as a Pharisee. This is the book of Romans which is hardcore & in your face. It doesn'’t make sense that Paul would throw in a cheesy, flowery, warm and fuzzy word in here. And this is why when Paul says '‘rejoice'’ itÂ's important to understand that he'’s saying REMEMBER! Remember your faith in a benevolent God who is good for all of the promises he'’s made to you about you and your life'’s purpose and path. HeÂ's saying that you should remember that and bank on it. Doesn'’t mean that you should be happy about the fact that life sucks for whatever reason currently. Rather, it means that by remembering the reality of your life as a whole, you can continue on KNOWING that you will live to see better days. There'’s something about living with such confidence that produces a certain sort of hope. And grabbing hold of that internal hope is the equivalent of what Paul is imploring us to do when he says '‘REJOICE'’. Thus, the weekend ended in tearful, soulful, prayer and intercession for one another. My dear friends...

On a side note... If I were to ever experience a temporary moment of crazy sanity and courage you would be able to locate me out in Coopersburg Pennsylvania as the owner of Cooper Mansion. The plan would be to turn the downstairs into my coffee shop. The rest of the house would be turned into the beginning living arrangements for the commune that we'’re going to start. Shorb and Erica already said they are in. We think Neville would probably be game, as well as another couple from around there. I'’d take out some loans to cover the costs of starting up the coffee shop and the rest is history. It would either be called '‘Shorb'’s'’ or the Pieroggi Factory. Eventually everyone in the commune would staff the coffee shop which would support us all modestly. I think it'’s a wonderful plan, and though it sounds like a pipe dream of sorts, As we were brainstorming this all, I think that if I ever did decide to go for it, I think I could come close to pulling it off. Oh what a real chicken I am. There'’s not really a terribly good reason that I don'’t at least try to get this plan started and see if there'’s some way to get some of that money together to do such a thing. Again, what do I have to lose? So, yeah, if I all of a sudden disappear for a while, you may wanna check Coopersburg.

Flowers

I sent her flowers today. It only took a friend's suggestion (thank you Amy) and about half of the day to get up the courage to do such a foreword thing, but in the end, today, she's going to receive 3 daises in a little vase with a 2 sentence message from me. I want her to feel like a million bucks or like she's on top of the world, or that someone may actually think she's worth the attention, or that God's not forgotten her in loneliness. Flowers can say a lot of things, but why these specifically? Because that's how I felt all day on Saturday. And that's how good things went... Good enough for someone like me to work up the courage to send her flowers after a first date. That is saying no small thing at all. My friend Eric Bland later told me that he was a little worried for me and that I might be setting myself up for disappointment with the first date being a 15 hour long deal, 9 of which were spent alone in a car. The drive up was relentless conversation which is so much fun and almost dizzying at times. The opportunity to meet a new person and to ask real questions and hear someone give real heartfelt responses... Intoxicating almost. She isn't who I was expecting her to be and that was all the more exciting. This sweet girl who did sweet things like write me a 'thank-you' note for a pick a date and stayed till after everyone else left the Inservice I spoke at just to say hi to me and catch up a bit. The seemingly shy and unassuming girl who invited me down to see her airband act after they got in... Yeah, I finally got to spend enough time to actually get to know who she was and what she was all about. It's funny to think about, I'm sure, but you have no idea at all what 3 things as sweet as that can do for someone who's just moved to a city for 6 months and considers himself 'alone'. (I think it was along those lines that I gathered the courage to send her flowers, because even if she thought Saturday was horrible and she threw up when she got home, the least I can do is attempt to repay such things with the same disregard of risk)

We showed up late to the wedding. In fact, the bride and groom were seen at the alter through the windows as we drove up. I wouldn't have had it any other way, cause it didn't matter. She kind of got worried for a moment, but I laughed and she laughed and I hope she caught on that the wedding was just a side story and that the day was about being with her. I certainly didn't care about showing up late, in fact, I liked it better that way. Something about it seemed good and right. After the wedding people came up to see me and I didn't realize how good it would feel to introduce her as my date to everyone. So, yeah, maybe a little cheesy to say, but I liked that part alot. We walked out of the church and it had been raining so I stuck out my arm and SHE TOOK IT! Remembering that singular aspect of the day could probably make a whole month of work fly by with a little less drudgery and gloom.... wow. My friend Christine hung out with us for the whole reception and I enjoyed doing everything I could with my attention, body language, conversation, eye contact, etc to let Angela know that I was all about her even if I maybe knew Christine better. I was glad that on several occasions that Christine acknowledged that Angela was, in fact, my date. I don't know, maybe this all sounds overly retarded and hopelessly stupid to you, but all I can say to that is God knows me perfectly and he knows perfectly what I need to lift my spirit to new heights even after long periods of low-lying, joy-deprived days. Even if Angela never talks to me again, in this one day, her day long sacrifice to accompany me was used by God to take me, mentally and emotionally, out of where I was and push me to be at a new place.

Will there be a second date? I certainly hope so, and I have a feeling I'll make a bumbling idiot out of myself to try and make it happen. However, even if there isn't, I think I could find some contentment in the amount of giddy joy I had for a day in the beginning of November. And so, the point is, Angela is sweeter than I knew before and God is as good as He's always been to me.

What it's All About

Tuesday night was the Jem concert. It was pretty sweet. The venue was pretty intimate and cool at the same time. Concert stage in a corner of the room and a few tables and chairs set up along the sides in place, but the rest was open and so we stood for the whole thing. It was interesting to see the wide range of ages present to this underground British rock group's show. Most of it was young people, of course, but there were a suprising amount of grey haired couples in the mix. It made me love them and I hope that I can be that open to things when I'm that age. The moral of the story is this... going to a cool concert at a cool little music venue on a Tuesday night has a way of making you feel like you're a cool city person (even if you're really not much of one).

Last night I traveled to Marion, IN to the Tree of Life coffee shop to hear Donald Miller (Author of Blue Like Jazz) do a reading and a bit of question-answer time. The place was packed and I ended up standing in an isle of books listening more than watching, which was ok. As I was driving up I became hesitant about going. If you've read any of his stuff you can identify with how unassuming of a writer he is. Everyone who reads his stuff just assumes that, in real life, he would be one of your friends who comes into your room, sits on the couch and kind of chews the fat with you about random stuff. This is great, and a big contributor to the size of his readership. However, I began to wonder what it would do to me to find out that in real life he was some sort of pompous schmuck. What if he got here, told us all about how amazing he was, how much better his work was than everyone else's, and how wrong other people were if they didn't like it? So, I began to get a little worried and I realized the night was going to be more about not disappointing me than it was going to be about charming or impressing me. That said, I can honestly say that I am of the same opinion of the guy now as I was before hearing him last night. He read and spoke and answered questions with the same sort of unassuming, low-keyed depth that he writes his books with. At the end he was signing books so I went up to get my book signed. I told him that my roommate's mom had written a study to go along with Blue Like Jazz. I asked him if he was familiar with Carol Daubenmire's work. He thought for a second and then he said, 'yeah! Isn't she the one who wrote the good sized one?' I said I wasn't sure what a normal sized one was, but that I'd read through hers and I figured it was the one he was talking about. He got a big smile on his face and told me to pass on a thank you to her for having the desire to write such a work. And with that he signed my copy of the book. How exciting aye? Got to talk to the author, and got to see the author get a bit excited about the work of someone else who im connected with. So, there you are Mrs. Daubenmire, Donald Miller seemed pleased enough with your work that he gave a genuine thank you for me to pass on to you.

Now, on to things that have given this week wings for the days to fly by in anticipation... Tomorrow I will drive to Upland and have breakfast with my little sister. She will, no doubt, spend her time telling me to calm down and not mess up the rest of the day by being a schmuck (We'll talk about other things as well), Then I'll run up on the Penthouse and wake up a few people just to say hi since im on campus. I can't really justify not going up on that floor at any time afforded to me. Then, at about 11:30, I'm gonna pick Angela up and we're heading to Chicago. It's gonna be all day, it's gonna be a lot of driving, it's gonna be alot of talking. I am nervous, however, I am also very excited. I'm trying to figure out how to make things as not awkward as possible, but I'm sure with a 4 hour car ride both ways, it's probably unavoidable. No matter what though, I hope that she leaves the date feeling like the wedding was a reason to spend time with her, and not that she was just someone who would afford me the ability to simply go to the wedding. I mean, I want to go to this wedding cause Sharon's a good friend and I'll look foreword to seeing her get married, but really, everyone there is going to be a mild acquaintance save 2 or 3 people and even those people are all going to have their own things and people to see and hang out with and catch up and all that jazz, so really, im' not even concerned with whether or not I even spend any time at all catching up with any of them. I get to spend the entire day with a sweet girl who I'm dying to get to know as much about as possible because she's done some really genuinely sweet things for me over the past few months and I just have to get to know her more. And THAT is what tomorrow is all about for me.