Flowers

I sent her flowers today. It only took a friend's suggestion (thank you Amy) and about half of the day to get up the courage to do such a foreword thing, but in the end, today, she's going to receive 3 daises in a little vase with a 2 sentence message from me. I want her to feel like a million bucks or like she's on top of the world, or that someone may actually think she's worth the attention, or that God's not forgotten her in loneliness. Flowers can say a lot of things, but why these specifically? Because that's how I felt all day on Saturday. And that's how good things went... Good enough for someone like me to work up the courage to send her flowers after a first date. That is saying no small thing at all. My friend Eric Bland later told me that he was a little worried for me and that I might be setting myself up for disappointment with the first date being a 15 hour long deal, 9 of which were spent alone in a car. The drive up was relentless conversation which is so much fun and almost dizzying at times. The opportunity to meet a new person and to ask real questions and hear someone give real heartfelt responses... Intoxicating almost. She isn't who I was expecting her to be and that was all the more exciting. This sweet girl who did sweet things like write me a 'thank-you' note for a pick a date and stayed till after everyone else left the Inservice I spoke at just to say hi to me and catch up a bit. The seemingly shy and unassuming girl who invited me down to see her airband act after they got in... Yeah, I finally got to spend enough time to actually get to know who she was and what she was all about. It's funny to think about, I'm sure, but you have no idea at all what 3 things as sweet as that can do for someone who's just moved to a city for 6 months and considers himself 'alone'. (I think it was along those lines that I gathered the courage to send her flowers, because even if she thought Saturday was horrible and she threw up when she got home, the least I can do is attempt to repay such things with the same disregard of risk)

We showed up late to the wedding. In fact, the bride and groom were seen at the alter through the windows as we drove up. I wouldn't have had it any other way, cause it didn't matter. She kind of got worried for a moment, but I laughed and she laughed and I hope she caught on that the wedding was just a side story and that the day was about being with her. I certainly didn't care about showing up late, in fact, I liked it better that way. Something about it seemed good and right. After the wedding people came up to see me and I didn't realize how good it would feel to introduce her as my date to everyone. So, yeah, maybe a little cheesy to say, but I liked that part alot. We walked out of the church and it had been raining so I stuck out my arm and SHE TOOK IT! Remembering that singular aspect of the day could probably make a whole month of work fly by with a little less drudgery and gloom.... wow. My friend Christine hung out with us for the whole reception and I enjoyed doing everything I could with my attention, body language, conversation, eye contact, etc to let Angela know that I was all about her even if I maybe knew Christine better. I was glad that on several occasions that Christine acknowledged that Angela was, in fact, my date. I don't know, maybe this all sounds overly retarded and hopelessly stupid to you, but all I can say to that is God knows me perfectly and he knows perfectly what I need to lift my spirit to new heights even after long periods of low-lying, joy-deprived days. Even if Angela never talks to me again, in this one day, her day long sacrifice to accompany me was used by God to take me, mentally and emotionally, out of where I was and push me to be at a new place.

Will there be a second date? I certainly hope so, and I have a feeling I'll make a bumbling idiot out of myself to try and make it happen. However, even if there isn't, I think I could find some contentment in the amount of giddy joy I had for a day in the beginning of November. And so, the point is, Angela is sweeter than I knew before and God is as good as He's always been to me.