To Write Love On Her Arms

Tonight I attended a presentation by Jamie Tworkowski, founder of To Write Love On Her Arms. Powerful thoughts by a follower of Jesus showing God's redemptive love in ways that purposefully resist cheap labels. I pray we continue to love one another authentically, not because we're 'trying to be real', but because we genuinely see the image of God in each others lives. May God be glorified by these jars of clay. May we communicate that to one another by the ways we treat each other.

Coffee with Alex and Eric was wonderful. I felt genuinely light-hearted. I hope that I know where the two of them end up next year, and the years after. With thesis stuff at a point where it will spend the next several weeks being approved by various people around campus, that work will die down. I'm hoping to fill my schedule with one-on-ones with so many student's who I've not given attention to for the past two months.

Amy sent an email out to our lighthouse team today and accidentally copied me on it. It was about trying to frame my circumstances in a way that made sure they understood it was a big deal and that it would be nice if they went out of their way to tell me they cared about me. Though I know this was done out of sincere motives, it is very difficult to not be very frustrated by this. It's exactly one of the biggest reasons I have been so hesitant to tell people. I don't need to be a project. And I don't need special consideration, especially from my students. I mean, the last thing I want is for one of these student's I've known for a month and a half over a few hour long meetings to feel the weight of trying to step into this space of my life feeling even remotely responsible for my spiritual or emotional well-being. That's not for them. It would be one thing for one or two of them to want to extend some extra encouragement my way of their own accord, but that this sort of thing would be prompted by some more coordinated effort is difficult for me to appreciate.

And as I read this email maybe it's more evidence of an unhealthy expectation of myself. Maybe I need the community no matter the method or medium. Maybe I need anyone and everyone to take a little responsibility for my well-being considering the changes. What do I know?