'healthy'?

How long does it take to move past a three year long relationship? You will give no answer because you’ll say there’s no formula and that looks different for everyone. To which I ask, slightly restate, at what point is it unhealthy to be moved past a three year long relationship? Again, you have trouble answering because you say each relationship is unique and has its own scars and its own baggage. Is it a measure of emotional stability? Are we simply talking about the passage of time? Does it mean solving the problems that caused the break downs? At what point can I confidently claim myself healthy again?

In my life, and I assume in the lives of most others, there have been experiences that took only a moment to occur that I’m still trying to understand and are likely still affecting me. Then there are also experiences that have occurred over months and years of my life, at the end of which, affect change in me instantaneously and then have held little to no bearing on the rest of my life. All the while, for both circumstances, the whole of my life has continued to move along.

So what do you or I know about healthy? Either of us could be minutes away from an unknown moment that will shake our lives or we could have something in our lives right now that is going to be the persistent prelude to a change that we never thought to have expected was occurring. Either way, these things will happen regardless of our preparedness for it; our ‘health’. Life’s not a jigsaw puzzle. We don’t deal with one thing at a time in our lives like one puzzle piece after another.

So, maybe I shouldn’t try to shut everything else off until I think I’ve put all the pieces back together. Maybe I should. What do I know?