The State of the Yoder Address

And life has gone on for the better part of the last two months as I haven’t done so well at keeping this updates (thank you to all who’ve done such a diligent job of reminding me so). So, without further adieu, I present you with ‘The State of the Yoder Address’.

Some people love the winter and some people hate it. I tend to be one who doesn’t really mind it, but am not overly taken with the bitter cold. Snow is always a pleasant thing though. This winter in Indy has had neither bitter cold nor much snow to speak of. In short, it’s been a rather ‘blah’ sort of time. There have been sunny days and sort of warm days which pretty much ended up being a tease to me, as spring was too far away to really get prepared for. And even now we see the same thing. It was supposed to be 65 yesterday and by Sunday it should be cold enough for a few snow flurries. The second day of March makes this a little more tolerable, but needless to say, the weather has made me feel like I’ve been in this two month long holding stage where there seems to be little progression toward or away from any one season.

At the beginning of this month I tuned in to watch the President’s State of the Union Address (this post’s namesake). There were a lot of words but none of them seemed to spark a whole lot of enthusiasm or excitement from me. You might say that this is because I’m not really a Bush supporter at all, and on top of that, I tend to be a pessimist when it pertains to politics anyway. But I would say that my lack of a positive response was caused by something even above these usual reasons. I think that even your everyday Bush supporter as well as the eternal optimist would have to be honest with themselves when considering the real legitimate chance that absolutely anything worthwhile will happen in the political realm in the next few months and years. We’re entrenched in a war that it’s not possible to get out of in the foreseeable future. That’s expended just about as much political capital that our president has to give. Congress is mired in an almost relentless routine of having another shady politician caught in another shady deal about every other news cycle. To top that off, many of them are up against mid-term elections at a time when simply being Republican is not going to win the reelection because the president’s approval rating is in the 30’s. Not to mention that the party as a whole seems to be splitting is opinion on most issues right now. Being a Democrat isn’t going to get anyone elected either on account of the fact that most people look for their elected officials to have some sort of alternative ideas to the faulty planning and actions of the current administration. And that is just about all that the Democrats are interested in doing right about now. All that to say that it’s great for President Bush to talk about Math and Science teacher initiatives or Alternative Energy initiatives but that’s all it is… talk. There’s no more political capital. What does all of this mean? It means that 2 or 3 years from now we’re still gonna be in Iraq. Iran’s still gonna be moving toward nuclear weapons. Our education system is still going to be mired in about the most stratifying inequality imaginable. We’re still going to be driving cars around that suck on gas at around 2.50 or 3.00 a gallon. And none of it is going to be heading toward a progressive new horizon of change anytime soon. What a waste of time. These are all just thoughts and opinions, mind you. I’m not a political scientist, so what do I know about any of this anyway?

I saw my friend Maha a few weekends ago. She was back in Warsaw for a few days to try and get her mom’s finances in order. I only saw her for an evening and we didn’t really talk of much of any consequence, which is unusual for the two of us when we’re together. However, it didn’t matter. Maha is a reminder to me that people can change. I’m not talking about her. I’m talking about myself. When we were in highschool together we were about as different as they came. We didn’t know each other, but at the same time, we both knew enough about each other to know we didn’t want to know each other. And then the coffee shop happened. And for the first time I realized that friendship is not necessarily a declaration of homogeneity. It was in those long nights closing the coffee shop that I learned how to have respect for someone who disagreed with me. I learned what it was to discuss and debate without getting personal or feeling attacked… simply exchanging ideas. These things don’t need a winner to be declared at the end. Before, I think in my head those sorts of exchanges were all a power play. I will exert my intellectual and mental power over you by getting you to realize you are wrong. Not the case at all. What a beautiful, life altering realization that is….. You have your opinions and I have mine. If we cant respect another person’s right to think what they want, then we have no respect for anyone at all.

My job is still excruciating. Days and weeks were flying by from November through January. I hit February feeling pretty good about things. Then it sort of hit me through a series of pretty crappy days that I still had 1/3 of a year left to go. That’s right, no joyrides here. 4 more months. The tough part about them is that there’s really no breaks or vacations and to top it off, there are still a couple months of less than pleasant weather. We began to get busier at work to the point where days became the frantic scramble that they were back in July and August. And I again wondered if I really would be able to make it to the summer time or if I should just quit right there. I weathered the storm again, and this week has seemed to be a relatively low key one with next week looking like most of the same. The real boost on the job front came this week when I got through the month of February and began the official countdown. Yes, I have a countdown of days left to work. We’re at 51. I made a calendar on my dry-erase board at home. Each day when I come home I get to put a big red X through the number written on that day (I’ve got a feeling this is going to be the most looked-foreward-to part of my days). I’ve got roughly 10 weeks left. I’m quitting on May 12^th at the latest. That’ll give me 2 weeks to move out of the apartment to wherever it is that im going (to be discussed later). I’ve decided that in 2 weeks im going to have to sit down with my boss and break the news to him. I’m already sort of dreading it. By then it’ll be 2 months till quitting time and I think that this will be sufficient amount of time for him to find a replacement and for me to help train the person, if that’s wanted. If all that happens fast, then I’ll probably just stay on at the warehouse for a few more weeks as an hourly employee or something. I don’t know how im going to break all of this to Marvin, but I’ve begun to have the conversation in my head and I just don’t know how he’s going to take it. Is he going to be understanding? Will he be angry? Will he feel let down? I don’t know. I hope that giving him that much notice makes it easier than if I waited to give my 2 weeks notice or something like that. As I made the calendar I got pretty excited. I’m doing my best to plan things for most of the weekends so I have stuff to look foreward to in the short term. However, I am already finding out that the end coming closer is making me less and less tolerant of the things I hate about my job. It’s getting harder for me to ignore those thoughts and feelings. They’re also coming with more frequency. I think that the month of March could be quite a trial to get through without some really depressing days. But if I can hold out till the weather turns, I may yet make it out with a bit of sanity and mental health. I know this all sounds sort of comical, but many of these things are the honest truth. I would really appreciate any prayer on behalf of my mental and emotional ability to deal with all of this appropriately. Summer time come to me fast.

The Shorbs visited me a few weekends ago. Good friends are life’s sunshine. They couldn’t stay long, just Saturday night and they were off after church on Sunday. It didn’t matter though. Just being in their presence again was the sun on my face. It made me kind of hope that Marvin hires someone new for my job soon so that I can maybe take a long weekend in the spring to visit them again. Nate seems to be slowly warming up to his job which is very encouraging. I don’t care what he says, I think that the kids who ended up in his class this year received one of God’s special blessings. Nate Shorb, you’re a life changer. Don’t forget that.

My parents came down to visit at the beginning of February. It’s kind of a cool part of growing up and having a place of your own… I got to be my parents’ reason for getting out of Warsaw and doing something different. I like that sort of thing. I could host people every weekend. I love them dearly and I hope that they never decide that I live too far away to want to come visit me. One casualty of the weekend…. Our Christmas tree. Yeah, it was still up in the apartment 2 months after we cut it down. The funny thing was that we stopped watering it at new years but the needles were all still attached. That all changed when the parents decided it needed to go and soon needles covered the whole floor. In fact, I stepped on one randomly this week. It kinda hurt.

Angela Moore is indescribably amazing. She is absolutely wonderful. She picks up my spirits immediately when I think of her, and looking foreward to our nightly phone conversations pushes me to make it through yet another workday. Sitting here trying to decide how to explain why this is the case…. Not because I need anything to fill that void or play that roll (because I was very paranoid about that being the case if I started a relationship at this particular juncture in my life with work being what it is and all). And not because I generally allow that person to play such a role in my life early on in a relationship either. Here’s my best shot. You hear people talk about a person who just simply compliments them wonderfully. That person who just fits with them. As if you were the pieces to a two piece puzzle. I don’t know, maybe this is turning into something too sappy and cheesy for you to read, but I guess this is what I’m getting at. Previous relationships seemed so much more forced and full of effort than this. Everything about this relationship is so organic and natural and fitting. Every relationship starts that way but as time goes on, we all realize that we’re all different people and relationship is this sort of intentional effort to come together somehow. And I’m not saying that this relationship wont have that (because every relationship will have that because people are people and people are messy and people have issues). But never before has absolutely everything about a person seemed so comforting, and peaceful, and exciting, and thoroughly enjoyable to me. Nothing’s perfect, and neither is this, but everything that’s not perfect about who each of us is in this relationship makes it feel all the more natural and good. I better cut this off soon… she discovered my blog finally (so phil and noah can stop impersonating her in the comments section) and read all about everything I wrote about her in November and December and she didn’t think I was too much of a crazy stalker person to stop dating, so that’s a plus. So, to keep from embarrassing her too much more, I’ll let that all stand as it is.

Oh, Valentine’s day… Angela’s mom has a degree in horticulture and has spent plenty of time in flower shops and doing arrangements before. Thus, Angela has sort of high-class taste in flowers. Well, I don’t know what sort of class they are cause I don’t know anything about flowers, but needless to say, she’s got some favorite flowers that are a little more specific than the random daisies or roses. I did a bit of scouting out the situation with casual conversation about a month prior to the event and got the names of her favorites. No cheesy red roses here… Instead I called up the Hartford City flower shop about 3 weeks before Valentine’s and ordered a dozen sterling roses, a dozen fire and ice roses, as well as a dozen delphiniums. They were to be delivered the day before Valentine’s to Amy Barnett’s house. About a week before V-Day Linda Brate was over at our apartment watching College Basketball with us. She and Phil told me that I should make my own valentines. I told them no, because I always do cards the same way. No matter to whom, or for whatever reason, I always get plain thank you cards and cross everything out to write my pages and pages of stuff all over the card. It feels more like my sort of thing to do than cheesiness. However, They convinced me and Linda said she’d help me make it. I went to her apartment a few days later and she freaked me out with all of her card-making equipment and supplies (she says every girl has that stuff but im not sure about that). I decided to make 3 cards for her. One for each dozen flowers. I cut them all out and they had cool paper on them and I even learned how to emboss the words right on the front which looked pretty sweet if I do say so myself. Anyway, I was up the weekend before Valentine’s to visit her and I dropped the cards off to Tracy. That night before V-Day, Steph, her roommate told her that she had an early early morning breakfast date. Really, she and Tracy woke up early and ran over the Amy’s house to pick up the flowers and put them and the cards in Angela’s room so that when she woke up she’d see them there. I liked that idea. No seeing your name on the English hall front desk board or whatever… She was going to wake up on Valentine’s Day and know someone thought she was special. So, yeah, then I drove up after work and surprised her. I think she was surprised anyway. She came downstairs and gave me a big hug, which made the whole thing worth it pretty much. So, yeah, there’s Valentine’s day (hope you enjoyed the story Courtney). Thankyou to everyone who helped… Amy, Phil, Tracy, and Steph and Linda you are good friends. I owe you.

Spring training is underway and that is always cause for celebration. I love baseball, and what I love about baseball are these things… 1. the Chicago Cubs 2. Live Baseball games. 3. Fantasy Baseball. Our fantasy baseball draft is next weekend. Everyone’s coming down for the weekend and it will be a full house. So much fun. Phil’s reserved the boardroom at his fancy schmancy bank and we’re all gonna come together with suits and laptops and merriment. Oh sweet, sweet, fantasy baseball. I’ve been working on my mock draft for the better part of 2 weeks now. Harder than you think it is. Needless to say, all the preparation isn’t going to do a bit of difference because 2 of my top five will spend half the year on the DL. When April hits we’re going to listen to Cubs broadcasts on the radio in the warehouse… I don’t even care what anyone says. If they complain, im firing them. Nuf’ Said. I’ve gotta decide what Cubs games im gonna buy tickets for. Wrigley field is my Mecca.

So, Taylor finally posted a generic Hall Director position. I’m in the process of getting my references around and as soon as those are taken care of I’ll get an application. It feels good to actually be doing something about this instead of just sitting and thinking and hoping. I had a meeting with Skip in January which went very well and I was more than encouraged by his words and thoughts. Taylor’s going to be offering a Masters of Student Development in 2 years. So, if I do land a job there next year, I may defer my Ball St. program in hopes that I’ll do the Taylor program instead. That’s really exciting. As this all gets closer, I’m getting more and more nervous about it. I know this is what I want to do and I feel confident that everything about this past year has all been one big precursor to making this next step in this exact direction. God is good, and I have confidence in that. I also have confidence that if it turns out I didn’t see God’s direction as clearly as I thought, that there will still be cause for hope and excitement about my future career. The prayer right now is more for calm, and peace of mind cause it’s gonna happen in it’s own good time and there’s nothing I can do about it.

This summer I could be back in Warsaw with the parents which would be fun. It would probably mean working 3^rd shift somewhere or picking up hours at the coffee shop again. I could also end up in Ohio with Noah. That would be sweet. I’d work construction. Noah would make living out there relatively inexpensive too. I could also end up living in Upland getting a jump on finding a job that will let me work there through the next school year. All of them excite me and im not sure if I like one over any of the others. Any ideas?

My sister has a boyfriend…. WHOA! And she actually seems to be acting like shes going to give this one a chance. I’m stoked. How about you(Noah, sorry you didn’t pan out for her…. Guess there are bigger and better guys out there)? He still hasn’t introduced himself to me. He got pretty nervous meeting my parents the other weekend. Someone should have told him that was a waste of time when he still had to deal with me. Good luck kid. This is my baby sister we’re talking about whom I love dearly. I’m waiting….

Wow, well, I think that’s getting caught up from the past 2 months. I’ve known this long one was due, and it’s prevented me from writing several small soapbox ones along the way, so now that we’re all caught up, hopefully we can get back on track with posting regularly.